what does my dream means nightmare

This dream has been bugging me for some time, I actually consider it a nightmare and just want to understand what is going on in my subconcious. Please take into consideration that this dream made me very upset... it was real.

I am a new step mom. I have been married for two years now to a wonderful man. He has three children that live with us 90% of the time. I have a great relationship with all three children and have never been treated with disrespect. The kids Mom suffers from a sever mental disorder, so their relationship with their mother is slim to non. About 2 months ago I had an aweful dream. I don't recall all the details.... but I cut my three children up and put them in a blender. After blending them, I put them in pint jars. I remember sun outside and lettuce on the counter. There was no blood, the jars looked to be full of blended pears. My husband and I have a california kind bed that has decorative metal bars that are above our heads from corner post to corner post. I killed my husband but In my dream I did not see how I did that. I laid his body on the bars above our bed and set the jars on his stomach. I woke up screaming, seaty and jumped out of bed and leaned against the wall. I was shaking and crying when my husband walked over to me and helped me calm down. I could not go back to sleep that night and struggled with sleep for nearly two weeks after. Can you help me? I have vivid, detailed dreams almost every night. Some to the point that I feel like I wake up more tired than when I went to sleep. I toss and turn and often jump out of my bed to turn on lights due to dreams of spiders, bugs or other creepy things. I am happy with my life. I am happy in my marriage and happy as a mom. Does this dream mean anything? Help. I just want to forget about it.